Perception---for the record. the $22 friendship

btw, I did not make a concerted effort to look up a criminal record.  I just had to type in a name and the PDF was there on a link.  It took 5 seconds of typing.  I dont have to fight to get the last word in, betrayal is made through a pre-chiseled sword.  E was not mad at me for gambling.  He was mad that the BTR payments were a few days late.  The last payment I sent was on 4-24, I believe one day ahead of schedule.  He cut Jon and my episodes off the next day.  I asked PayPal for a refund.  E and Paypal jointly refunded the money on the same day.  I never stalked him.  I called him 2x in March and one was to wish him a happy birthday.  He was not a long suffering friend who had to listen to the fallout from gambling.  I generally told him my ups and downs every 3 weeks.  Aside from name calling from him to me.  I had trust issues.  He once emailed my boss in Calif. to make me look bad.  Why?  Because 10 years earlier, Marguerite and I served him a civil judgment hearing in the Mall of America?  Was it because I took a side?  Nothing I ever did in the friendship was wrong.  It was just something he did not like.  If I had rang up $1100 in phone bills to one of his friends the way he did to me, he would have more than cut me off.  I rescued the friendship in around 2008 (can't remember now) because I thought as a Christian and relative of a church member, he deserved another chance.  Mind you, he never ever once repented for ripping 2 people off, one being my sister.  I don't know what to say now.  Its like looking at fungus or dead ivy on a tree.  I have turned it over to my higher power.  The one thing I can say is, I won two battles in the last few weeks.  No one can win the war of his soul.  Only he can surrender to his pride.  

Pay it Forward but don't let it kick you backass backward

“Accept what people offer. Drink their milkshakes. Take their love.   -Wally Lamb, Author of "She's Come Undone"

  “How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help?”

Room for forgivness doesn't mean your definition of failure.

When someone who can't rise to the occasion most of the time repeats the patterns one expects them to, it becomes a disappointment.  For someone who posts Bible verses about those who are false Christians when one does not help another but then continues to turn the other cheek (and not the face cheek), there can be no peace or resolution.  Strangely enough, he doesn't clothe himself in love but division.  He self identifies with all the worldly terms and carnal desires that he wishes to be known by.   But he can't offer a token of apology or gesture of kindness because it is not within him.  His mother rejected him at 17 or 18, and he cannot forgive, love or redeem.  He holds hostility.  He makes assumptions.  I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by thinking he has matured.  He has given me some things at Christmas and offered some source of generosity--things I didn't ask for but he can't be honest.  He says "What you think of me is none of my business."  But he sends a six paragraph email to Jon making where I am at his business without even confronting me.  Now that my crisis is over or even during it, he did not act as a true friend.  He got angry at me when I reached out.   The only thing he is good at is mocking and be-littling people which I thought he was past.  I have forgiven and put it aside.  The Lord told me to make a peace offering I did.  And like God whom he rejects, he rejects the sons of God and the ability to forgive.  Goodbye.  I won't try again.  Because now I am the friend who became the enemy.   Eventually, we all become that.  And please don't do a radio show about this just like you did when we had a disagreement about the TLC biopic.  A whole show dedicated to me.  Thank you.  Brandy

P.S. People who try to identify themselves as a Bearded homo really aren't trying to be a pure witness for Jesus.   Or phrases like make love to a chubby guy.    My whole basis of the complaint is that I hoped you would become something better yourself.  Confront your demons.  be honest.  Don't condemn others for being honest about their problems.