tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90593904050338855632024-03-20T19:59:13.319-07:00Shades of Grayout: Spiritual RedemptionThis blog is about my struggles and redemption. There are tales of interpersonal conflict with men who I have dated. I would like to elevate the blog to healing and redemption, tools I have learned in my 12 step meeting.aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.comBlogger911125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-50196152119743189562024-01-03T04:16:00.000-08:002024-01-04T21:26:10.887-08:00Allegory of the Cave - Plato published in Duluth Reader<p> </p><section class="article-header" id="articles_79904" style="background-color: white; border-top: 1px solid rgb(214, 208, 199); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; margin-left: 15px; margin-right: 15px; padding-left: 40px; padding-right: 40px; padding-top: 20px;"><div class="results" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><div class="fmt fmt_story" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><div class="inner" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><article class="result article" id="article_103294" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1em;"><h2 class="title" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; line-height: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="color: #45818e; font-size: medium;">The Republic by Plato - Plato's Allegory of the Cave and Modern Man's Perception</span></h2><div><span style="color: #45818e; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">In a world void of forms and limited materialism, self-awareness and enlightenment may be easier to achieve. In Plato’s “allegory of the cave,” true belief is like a moving statue that can change forms through elevated perception. The allegory of the cave is an eternal conflict of appearance versus reality. It sets out to find the nature of truth to define the ultimate state of man’s existence. In the game of shadows where mirages of forms appear across our media and television, modern man has cultivated these forms tailored to his own desire and longing-ness. When Plato imagined his allegory of the cave on the basis of being visually and mentally chained, he strove for a higher interpretation of existence that would create an idealized society. </span></span></div></article></div></div></div></section><div class="content-container content-8-4 container-fluid" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-origin: initial; background-position: 12px 0px; background-repeat: repeat-y; background-size: initial; background: url("/themes/duluthreader/images/column_background.png") 12px 0px repeat-y rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; margin-left: 15px; margin-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 30px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px;"><div class="row" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-left: -15px; margin-right: -15px;"><div class="content-left col-md-8" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(226, 226, 226); box-sizing: border-box; float: left; min-height: 1px; padding-left: 15px; padding-right: 15px; padding-top: 20px; position: relative; width: 693.328px;"><div class="content-left-inner" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-left: 35px; width: 580px;"><section class="component" id="articles_30749" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 20px;"><div class="results" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><div class="fmt fmt_story" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><div class="inner" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><article class="result article" id="article_103294" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1em;"><div class="description" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px 0px 15px;"><p style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 14px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 14px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">The Republic begins with Socrates explaining his claim that the just man is the happy man. Socrates argues that in order to have a happy and good life, man must first have an idea of the ends of human existence. Plato clung to an ideology in which he groped for a transcendent, supreme being who authored the idea of perfect forms that could translate common forms or objects into a divine realm of being, where they could exist at their highest perfection. However, Plato was discriminatory and believed that only few were capable of drawing this knowledge outside of their selves. He believed that knowledge was innate—it existed within and had to be cultured and refined through perception. There were three states: being, becoming, and non-being. The existence of being was eternal or fixed. The essence of becoming was a non-static state of changing particles in which forms participated in the nature of existence to provide some type of quality or value. What divided man’s perceptions or striving toward a better purpose or existence? It was simply his ability to conceive and perceive. </span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 14px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">In the allegory of the cave, there is a group of people chained to a structure. They cannot move their head or limbs and are forced to stare at a wall. Behind them is a well-lit, continuous fire and a catwalk that objects move across. These objects can be animals or man-made things like vases or swords. Plato doesn’t define the regulation of these objects. He only notes that the people chained to the floor can only see the shadows created by the fire behind them as these objects move across the catwalk. The chained individuals start believing that the shadows are the actual forms, that the objects do not exist in material form. People begin naming these objects. If they hear echoes from outside the cave, they may attribute sounds to particular objects. <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />There are also stairs leading outside the cave, where one comes into the light of the sun. In Plato’s world, the sun is the perpetuation of enlightenment. The closer to the sun one becomes, the closer to the truth. The sun provides light but is not the light. The sun is the cause of sight itself. Man must will himself out of the cave by expanding his innate knowledge to conceive of more perfect forms. It is not necessarily contingent on a material world of objects but can include ideas like justice, ethics, and civil matters.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Is it in fact possible that all of our knowledge comes from within? St. Augustine believed in divine illumination, in which God imparts certain key knowledge to man. We live in a world now of standardized, text-driven education where thoughts and ideas are organized in a constructed formula, issued within a relative time frame of periodic intervals in which a student digests material and then regurgitates it. Plato lived in an age prior to the recognition of holy books like the Talmud or Bible. His conceptions were based on his own observations. Like many cultures around the world, he could conceive of a higher being who ordered and shaped the universe, but he did not ascribe it to a certain named deity. <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I find that Plato’s flaw even in his allegory is that he perceives that man starts out chained with sketchy knowledge. Some people are born content and digest the world around them in a literal or abstract way but are not at odds with their environment. Nowadays, people construct their world not through distorted perceptions of discourse but by linear modules of television and social media through the tool of a sun-like source known as the internet. We define our beauty, our ambition, our careers through shared values that are exalted. In the U.S., the development of a career and the ultimate contributions to society we make are measured through our self-perceived gifts or ability to master certain subjects in school. We can also develop a sense of being by things we are drawn to, such as likes. <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Plato’s inevitable distinction was that higher forms such as justice, ethics, and the organization of society could only be envisioned by a polished philosopher king who weighed these matters through discourse. As the sun is in the visible realm, the form of good is in the intelligible realm. It is “what gives truth to the things known and the power to know to the knower.” Whatever knowledge we attain of the Forms must be seen through the mind’s eye, while ideas derived from the concrete world of flux are ultimately unsatisfactory and uncertain. Plato maintains that degree of skepticism that denies all permanent authority to the evidence of sense. In essence, Plato suggests that justice, truth, equality, beauty, and many other things ultimately derive from the Form of the Good. However, in the modern world, people’s perception of beauty and value, such as whom they love, is individualized. Congress continually has disputes over social value aiming at individual preferences of what government should provide or approve. <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Thrasymachus argued that the unjust man demonstrates his superior intelligence in appearing to be just. Thrasymachus attempts to demonstrate that this type of individual always gets his way through the affronted appearance of justice. If man is smart enough to duplicate justice, he can deceive and put on false airs, according to Thrasymachus. <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />In conclusion, there is, as Plato says, a part of the world that lives in self-sustaining ignorance. In my perception, it is people who are chained to their own desires who cannot sacrifice for their own survival or for the common good. Yet there is no law or restriction in America for serving one’s own desires, as long as it is within the law. Plato left a permanent mark through his ability to imagine a higher existence and social entity, yet it is only through individual trial and error that we can gain wisdom. We live in an age when many of our physical needs are met, which may stymie urges of exploration to wander and discover. The definitive is everywhere and an imposition to place value on our lives. The struggle to interpret our higher thoughts as we are exposed to them or find them is within our realm.</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /></p></div></article></div></div></div></section></div></div></div></div>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-46280374189803225492023-09-26T21:14:00.010-07:002023-09-26T21:22:11.665-07:00Duluth Reader Archives: Louise Erdrich critique<p> </p><h1 class="page-title" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #ba0a00; display: inline-block; font-family: Teko, Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 30px; line-height: 36px; margin: 0px 20px 5px 0px; padding: 0px; zoom: 1;">News & Articles</h1><p><span face=""Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #3c3130; font-size: 14px;"> </span></p><h2 class="page-subtitle" style="background-color: white; border-left: 1px dotted rgb(203, 197, 197); box-sizing: border-box; color: #968a79; display: inline-block; font-family: Puritan, Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 18px; margin: 2px 0px 0px; padding: 8px 0px 6px 20px; vertical-align: top; zoom: 1;">Browse all content by date.</h2><section class="article-header" id="articles_79904" style="background-color: white; border-top: 1px solid rgb(214, 208, 199); box-sizing: border-box; color: #3c3130; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-left: 15px; margin-right: 15px; padding-left: 40px; padding-right: 40px; padding-top: 20px;"><div class="results" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><div class="fmt fmt_story" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><div class="inner" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><article class="result article" id="article_103029" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1em;"><h2 class="title" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 40px; line-height: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-top: 0px;">Finding the Bidwell Ghost</h2><time class="published_at" datetime="2014-05-15T00:00-05:00" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; float: right; font-family: Puritan, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 0px;">Thursday May. 15th, 2014</time><p class="credits" style="box-sizing: border-box; float: left; font-family: Puritan, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px 0px 10px;"><a href="https://duluthreader.com/contributors/j/36/236-jane-hoffman" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #ba0a00; text-decoration-line: none;">Jane Hoffman</a></p><div class="clear" style="box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; font-size: 0.14px; height: 0px; line-height: 0.0014px;"></div></article></div></div></div></section><div class="content-container content-8-4 container-fluid" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 12px 0px; background-repeat: repeat-y; background-size: initial; background: url("/themes/duluthreader/images/column_background.png") 12px 0px repeat-y rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box; margin-left: 15px; margin-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 30px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px;"><div class="row" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-left: -15px; margin-right: -15px;"><div class="content-left col-md-8" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(226, 226, 226); box-sizing: border-box; float: left; min-height: 1px; padding-left: 15px; padding-right: 15px; padding-top: 20px; position: relative; width: 693.328px;"><div class="content-left-inner" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-left: 35px; width: 580px;"><section class="component" id="articles_30749" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 20px;"><div class="results" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><div class="fmt fmt_story" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><div class="inner" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><article class="result article" id="article_103029" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1em;"><div class="description" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px 0px 15px;"><p style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 14px;"><span style="background-color: #073763; color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Louise Erdrich’s words and imagination are large enough to freefall, swimming into the oceans of our minds, blend and awaken memories and hope for new life as well as qualify for three contemporary poetic categories – autobiographical, confessional, and multi-ethnic/women empowerment. Anyone who has reviewed her, can’t discount her, let alone detract from her cluster of language meant to liberate an elementally powerful emotional response, says Peter Stitt in the Georgia Review. Language, a streamline of a volcanic narrative of her being both past and present, melts its tapestry into the complacency of the North Dakota frontier into a conjuring of mythic images meant to overtake situation and soul. In a review of Jacklight, her first poetic work, Stitt states that Erdrich “arrives at an understanding of the modern world discovering patterns within the experience she studies--mythic patterns derived from her own Native American background “ The poems are narrative in structure, benefiting from a strong sense of both her land, of place and character.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> The poem “Train,” expresses the sense of self which determines the speaker’s progress through the world. Many authors say Louise Erdrich is presenting images of empowerment of woman but she is really translating life. She is transforming in that perfect, written moment present tense, and becoming things she may not know she might become. In “Before,” she says, “It happened to me first, the stain on the linen, the ceremonial seal which was Eve’s fault in the church of Assisi. I prayed, I listen to my Brother Francis and I took his vow.” In this poem, receiving her period was a loss of innocence and perhaps an oath of chastity. In this autobiographical poem, she goes back to the time of St. Francis of Assisi to fully embody what receiving her menstrual cycle meant. Both holy and stained, she continues, “The girdle of green silk, the gift from my father slithered from me like a vine so I was something else that grew from air and I was light, the skeins of my hair…..my mother divided with a comb of ivory were cut from my head and parceled to the nesting birds.” This passage if filled with Christian symbols, a fortitude of meanings that is often integrated with Native American imagery. Girdle of green silk could symbolize the earth and life, “slithered from me like a vine” is an image of Satan as a snake in the garden; hair parceled to birds could be the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus on the cross as those near the Cross bartered for his garments. In “My Life as a Saint” the poem states: “I saw the house wrens gather, dark filaments from air then the cup was made fast to the body of the tree bound with silver excrescence of the spider….. We have the least mercy on the one who created us. Who introduced us to the hunger.” The house wrens gather is close to a biblical prophecy in Matthew 24:28 which says, “wherever there is a carcass, the vultures will gather.” Also, the passage of the cup was made fast to the body of the tree is a symbolic sentence of communion. In the New Testament, Jesus’ body is representative of the tree, the vine. In a review of the poem “Bidwell Ghost” by Laura Kryhoski, Ms. Kryhoski states “In folklore, the tree is symbolic of the feminine nature. Erdrich’s work relies heavily on the image of the psychic tree to create movement in the poem, movement set in motion by milestones in a woman’s experience during a reproductive lifetime.” <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Erdrich, like Terri Witek, draws up some connections with past figures. In her book, Baptism of Desire, she gives an introduction to a poem by describing how Saint Clare left her parents in 1212 to go live at a Benedictine Convent. I feel this is a historical person Erdrich could relate to, who gave up her mortal life for a higher spiritual sacrifice. In King of Owls, she writes a poem based on a French King, who was bored with life so his inside court created cards to entertain him.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />The male voices in Love Medicine, her novel, are very strong and legitimate. The book ends with a male voice.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />“Yes. I don’t know why that is, but they just seem to be. You don’t choose this. It just comes and grabs and you have to follow it.” In another interview I read she says her characters choose her, she doesn’t choose them.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />In the poem “Whooping Cranes,” legend-time and modern times come together, when an abandoned boy turns into a whooping crane. There’s a sort of cross-fertilization of past and present in legend.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />The cranes cross over the Turtle Mountains on their way down to Arkansas, Texas. We always used to hear how they’d see the cranes pass over. No more, though. I don’t know if they still fly that way or not. Another theme I see strongly in Jacklight, and in all of your writing, is the theme of strong women who become more than what they seem to be. Transformations take place--in some cases, mythic transformations.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />That is true of women I have known. We are taught to present a demure face to the world and yet there is a kind of wild energy behind it in many women that is transformational energy, and not only transforming to them but to other people. When, in some of the poems, it takes the form of becoming an animal, that I feel is a symbolic transformation, the moment when a woman allows herself to act out of her own power. The one I’m thinking of is the bear poem.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I feel in some ways, even though Ercrich emerged about ten years after the end of the Confessionalist movement, she is a confessionalist because she takes her past and creates character and depictions of herself regenerating, through native and religious strength.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />A shift away from an assumption that traditional forms, ideas, and history can provide meaning and continuity to human life has occurred in the contemporary literary imagination throughout many parts of the world, including the United States. Events since World War II have produced a sense of history as discontinuous: Each act, emotion, and moment is seen as unique. Style and form now seem provisional, makeshift, reflexive of the process of composition and the writer’s self-awareness. Familiar categories of expression are suspect; originality is becoming a new tradition.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />In “Family Reunion” (1984), a drunken, abusive uncle returns from years in the city. As he suffers from a heart disease, the abused niece, who is the speaker, remembers how this uncle had killed a large turtle years before by stuffing it with a firecracker. The end of the poen links Uncle Ray with the turtle he has victimized:<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Somehow we find our way back,</em><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Uncle Ray sings an old song to the</em><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">body that pulls him toward home.</em><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">The gray fins that his hands have</em><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">become screw their bones in the</em><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">dashboard. His face has the odd,</em><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">calm patience of a child who has</em><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">always let bad wounds alone, or</em><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">a creature that has lived for a long</em><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">time underwater. And the angels</em><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">come lowering their slings</em><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">and litters.</em></span></p></div></article></div></div></div></section></div></div></div></div>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-65389531269959543172023-06-25T01:18:00.000-07:002023-06-25T01:18:00.135-07:00My new Twitter handle<p> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/Iamabot1960"> www.twitter.com/Iamabot1960</a></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-49063135805666735962023-06-10T09:50:00.006-07:002023-06-10T09:54:48.183-07:00When Nietzsche wept <p><span style="background-color: black; color: #f4cccc;"> My article from Duluth Reader</span></p><p><span style="background-color: black; color: #f4cccc; font-family: georgia;"><span>If you are Janis Joplin in disguise or a tortured theorist who cannot reconcile the world, you will naturally gravitate to the mind of Friedrich Nietzsche or the swirling pontoon boat that spins into the Vienna Circle of genius. I recently watched a movie called “When Nietzsche Wept.” It’s obvious this philosopher does not initially have all the answers to mankind’s dilemma. He says there is no God but is tormented by headaches, unrequited love, and a fear of humans so great he can’t even trust a respected doctor. His female archangel Lou Andreas-Salome, played by the stunning Katheryn Winnich, compels a doctor who developed a new talking theory to cure Nietzsche before he attempts suicide. </span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span>Nietzsche is not a character the audience can gain sympathy for until he blossoms in compassion. The doctor chosen to treat Nietzsche is Josef Breuer, who is best friends with a more passively played Sigmund Freud, who was in his pre-fame status during this time in history. Between Nietzsche’s rationally driven benign lectures of mankind’s fate, his lack of trust, and his demands for love, I did not develop any sense of empathy for a writer tormented by his own demons. However, the movie transitions halfway through when an agreement is made between Josef Breuer, his physical doctor, who bids Nietzsche to help solve his unresolved conflict in exchange for Nietzsche receiving services to cure his physical ailments. Breuer and Nietzsche are leaders in their field, but behind the curtain they suffer innumerable torments that may only come with advanced, complex knowledge. Breuer had a love affair with a patient in which he betrayed his wife. The patient had delusional outbursts and blurted out their affair in front of his wife. Bertha Pappenheim, the lover played by Michal Yannai, is a curvy redhead who spills out her emotions visually, creating an image of lust and desire even a female voyeur can’t ignore. </span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span>Two tormented souls engage in a contract at this point to provide aspects of curing their demonic ailments. Breuer, who begins as the sane one, has a series of Freudian-type dreams that exaggerate his fears. He drops through tunnels, he erotically rapes his patient who resists then concedes, he saves patients who later falter—the dream cycle of Breuer compares to the movie “The Science of Sleep,” where illusion becomes the daily reality. In dream cycles, the most powerful dreams pervade our awake consciousness. The movie merges into an acquiesced paradigm of peace when Breuer (played by Ben Cross) and Nietzsche (Armand Assante) are paddle boating on a lake within a giant plastic Swan while the famous “Swan Lake” ballad is playing. Two great minds parallel into joint healing in laughter and awe while their feet move in symmetry. </span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span>This becomes the great task of two disjointed figures in humanity who are flanked by Sigmund Freud and Vienna elites. Two people who are self-loathing and unable to conquer their past find a solution for their lives only through experimentation and a growing mutual respect. Breuer discovers well into his treatment, as he observes the elderly failing around him, that time is the enemy and he must free himself from obligation. He sees himself as only an extension of his father’s and society’s expectations. He cuts his beard, leaves town, and becomes a waiter. Yet it is only part of the dream cycle. When Sigmund Freud spots him waiting tables, Breuer runs in the woods and jumps in a lake and almost drowns. Freud must exert all his strength to save him. Then he wakes up. The conscious state severs the delusion of escape. </span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span>For Nietzsche, the average person does not take dares to claim they are greater than God or that God does not exist while suffering in their own self-loathing. Even Jim Morrison understood the fate of his human condition. He accentuated his brutal conflict with poetry and music. He compared filmgoers to voyeurs or carnivorous vampires. “Film spectators are quiet vampires.” He said, “Love cannot save you from your own fate.” Jim Morrison, as opposed to Nietzsche, knew himself. He embraced his flaws. </span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span>Why did Nietzsche weep? It was not because Breuer could not find a cure. It was because in his mortality, he could not arise from himself. After bashing his head in a mirror after being massaged by a prostitute, he broke free from his pain. He was ready for help. Morrison said, “Dying is not painful, only living.” The main character, Nietzsche, who could utter great articles of philosophical premise, had to learn the simple lesson of how painful life can be. Nietzsche’s character redeemed himself through patience and goodwill toward Breuer. He rescued Breuer from the dream cycle back into a high level of love toward his wife and children. Nietzsche himself learned that he may never find female kinship, but in acceptance learned to love himself. </span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span>When one can savor the good moments and warm compliments of a loved one, it makes the pain of life disappear. Then we can all take the ride in the plastic swan towards oblivion and the belief that what torments us with stone will turn to gold. The highlights of “When Nietzsche Wept” include period-piece clothing and the Bulgarian backdrop of ancient buildings and cobblestone streets. It was written and directed by Pinchas Perry and based on the book by Irvin Yalom. Pinchas Perry is a friend of one of my closest friends in Los Angeles who took on the project earnestly. “When Nietzsche Wept” was a monumental task of taking the nuances of two great men and blending them into dialogue that made their realizations profound. At length, despair is what leads a man to scale new heights. The flesh and blood struggle of this film sheds light on the development of psychoanalysis, treatment, and two prodigies at work.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #3c3130; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 14px;" /></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-80021126595663209742022-12-06T01:40:00.006-08:002023-01-01T03:21:12.600-08:00Corporate policies that are inept and cause employee departure.<p><span style="font-size: large;">I am presenting a forum in Amazon format of a non fiction book about a company who mishandled their employees in Superior, Wisconsin. I will not finish this publication until Feb. 1 as I am completing my autobiographical novel, "Birth of Strangers."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">* Central Meat Packing, Chesapeake, VA</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">* SOS, Los Angeles, CA</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">* The Reader, Duluth, MN</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">*Thunderbird, Duluth, MN</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">* SDS, Superior, WI</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-74077050732810063062022-12-04T14:09:00.002-08:002022-12-04T14:09:38.511-08:00Daily blog<p><span style="font-size: large;">After I have been awake awhile from night shift, I am able to adjust my mental focus to what the scope of my day will look like. Sometimes, I just follow old habits of either running errands with Steve or meeting Scott for coffee. It was determined a LONG TIME ago, that Scott and I are not compatible but I was willing to keep him as a friend. He doesn't have all the right stuff and he's basically gone his whole life with bad teeth. Teeth are important. Nowadays, you can buy veneers for about $300 and place them over your teeth so your smile looks good. Certain things cannot be let go. Because I am a Virgo, I am nit picky. I won't settle for a man without a car or who is not fine. Scott has a good job but he lacks in other categories. I dropped him today in a break sense and unfriended him on FB. He is also blocked on my snapchat.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">to be continued</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-89010440828968183502022-11-23T21:52:00.001-08:002022-11-23T21:52:07.432-08:00I am not full of regrets<p> <span style="color: #f4cccc; font-size: medium;">I don't want my life to be full of regrets. I am fairly content now. I have wiped out everything in my life that has caused me anxiety. I stopped seeing Scott because it was not the ideal, he is not my ideal man. A man at my current job is and although he is married, I am striving for that ideal, not him. I am content in my two jobs, watching Hulu and working on my novel. I enjoy down time more. I no longer go to Superior where I was tempted by gambling. I do like this one bar with certain people who I became close with. I do not like the vibes at Pizza Man due to a cantancerous cook. He is real crabby and hostile. I am better off in Duluth. I work in a wealthy part of Duluth where there are mansions and people are opulent. It is a good feeling working in the best part of town. I am grateful. </span></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-28449857114143034582022-11-23T21:44:00.004-08:002022-12-17T05:38:03.209-08:00My personal review<p> This is the review I left for the company I worked at in the Mariner Mall in Superior. Although I may have come across petty, Indeed picked it as a featured review. I worked for this company for 19 months even though the wages were AWFUL.<span> I led an effort for a raise by emailing corporate and each person got a company wide raise a month before I left, after I submitted a request. I have bittersweet memories of working there. It was a "casual" environment. It was hard for me to sit still and focus after having walking and labor intensive job for several years. I used to work in offices all the time in the 90s but recently had more hands on labor intensive jobs like FedEx, Arrowhead House East, a nursing home and school cafeteria. I received a box in the mail today they delayed 2 weeks with my belongings. I needed my Skull candy earphone plug back. I walked the last day and left before the day was over. The company was not legit.</span></p><p><br /></p><h2 class="css-wn2j4x e1tiznh50" data-testid="title" style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #2d2d2d; font-family: "Noto Sans", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, "Liberation Sans", Roboto, Noto, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.5; margin: 0px 0px 0.5rem;"><a class="css-i1omlj emf9s7v0" data-testid="titleLink" data-tn-element="individualReviewLink" data-tn-link="true" href="https://www.indeed.com/cmp/Smart-Data-Solutions/reviews/stagnant-company-with-poor-wages?id=10445f9b178edfa1" style="border-bottom-color: initial; border-bottom-style: initial; border-left-color: currentcolor; border-left-style: solid; border-radius: 0px; border-right-color: currentcolor; border-right-style: solid; border-top-color: currentcolor; border-top-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #2d2d2d; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none; transition: border-color 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, background-color 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, opacity 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, border-bottom-color 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, border-bottom-style 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, border-bottom-width 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, border-radius 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, box-shadow 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, color 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s;"><span style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="css-82l4gy eu4oa1w0" style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; min-width: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">Stagnant company with poor wages</span></span></span></a></h2><div class="css-8a5o2x e1wnkr790" style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #767676; font-family: "Noto Sans", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, "Liberation Sans", Roboto, Noto, sans-serif; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 1rem;"><span class="css-xvmbeo e1wnkr790" itemprop="author" itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person" style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #595959; font-size: 0.75rem; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.5;"><a class="css-1uzwpqi emf9s7v0" href="https://www.indeed.com/cmp/Smart-Data-Solutions/reviews?fjobtitle=Processor" rel="nofollow" style="border-bottom-color: initial; border-left-color: currentcolor; border-radius: 0px; border-right-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-top-color: currentcolor; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #767676; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none; transition: border-color 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, background-color 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, opacity 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, border-bottom-color 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, border-bottom-style 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, border-bottom-width 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, border-radius 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, box-shadow 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, color 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s;">Kofax processor</a> (Former Employee) - <a class="css-1uzwpqi emf9s7v0" href="https://www.indeed.com/cmp/Smart-Data-Solutions/reviews?fcountry=US&floc=Superior%2C+WI" rel="nofollow" style="border-bottom-color: initial; border-left-color: currentcolor; border-radius: 0px; border-right-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-top-color: currentcolor; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #767676; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none; transition: border-color 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, background-color 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, opacity 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, border-bottom-color 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, border-bottom-style 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, border-bottom-width 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, border-radius 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, box-shadow 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s, color 0.2s cubic-bezier(0.645, 0.045, 0.355, 1) 0s;">Superior, WI</a> - November 5, 2022</span></div><div class="css-1uthk4z e37uo190" style="align-items: center; background-color: #eef1fe; border-color: currentcolor; border-radius: 8px; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: flex; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", Arial, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol", "Noto Color Emoji"; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; min-width: 0px; padding: 0.75rem 1rem;"><div class="css-x3mutq eu4oa1w0" style="background-image: url("/cmp/-/s/assets/b9c1b3b41ab7b94b/loudspeaker.svg"); background-position: 50% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: 24px 24px; border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; height: 24px; margin: 0px; min-width: 0px; width: 24px;"></div><div class="css-1mplen4 eu4oa1w0" style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 0.75rem; min-width: 0px;"><h2 class="css-1fcoc2j e1tiznh50" style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #164081; font-family: "Noto Sans", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, "Liberation Sans", Roboto, Noto, sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px;">Indeed Featured review</h2><span class="css-1hxz1yq e1wnkr790" face=""Noto Sans", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, "Liberation Sans", Roboto, Noto, sans-serif" style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #164081; font-size: 0.75rem; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.5;">The most useful review selected by Indeed</span></div></div><div aria-hidden="false" class="css-rr5fiy eu4oa1w0" data-tn-component="reviewDescription" dir="auto" style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", Arial, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol", "Noto Color Emoji"; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; min-width: 0px;"><span itemprop="reviewBody" style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span aria-hidden="false" class="css-1cxc9zk e1wnkr790" face=""Noto Sans", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, "Liberation Sans", Roboto, Noto, sans-serif" style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5;"><span style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: #04ff00; color: #20124d;"><span class="css-82l4gy eu4oa1w0" style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; min-width: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">They begin by offering you pragmatic advice on how to do your job. After 2 weeks, you are flying solo. I worked there almost 2 years. It's laid back in the sense that the dress code is knock off Saturday to anti social furries. One girl wore a cape like Chewbecca. They only rewarded fastest staff with gift cards not real money. They could not adequately pay long term incentives. One boss shot rubber bands all day and solicited his poetry book.</span><span class="css-82l4gy eu4oa1w0" style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; min-width: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><br aria-hidden="true" style="border-color: currentcolor; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;" />The managers definitely have a comradery and are exclusive. They only buy cake on manager's birthday which are 4 people. They seem serious about people succeeding but don't have a hands on plan for that.</span></span></span></span></span></div>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-5813083831019957092022-11-04T21:45:00.006-07:002022-11-04T21:45:58.346-07:00<p> <span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">I am working on my novel right now. That means, on an every day basis, I cannot devote a lot of time to my blog.</span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">I have gone through an ordeal with my 3rd job I recently left. I found the management to be subversive and non responsive in critical areas. Plus, the pay was ridiculously low. I stayed there 19 months as a steward of my faith and testimony to my dedication but I found better, closer work in Duluth. I cut the ties.</span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Tim, my boss, appeared authentic--perhaps, even conflicted. He was definitely sidetracked by his own pursuits. (to be continued)</span></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-80325446386255014012022-10-15T13:20:00.001-07:002022-10-15T13:20:18.890-07:00100 ways Cover, Real Thing<iframe width="480" height="270" src="https://youtube.com/embed/5cZDv6TfeS8" frameborder="0"></iframe>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-30246565772211327712022-10-01T00:43:00.001-07:002022-10-01T01:59:26.463-07:00<p><span style="color: #674ea7; font-size: medium;">I have been to hell and back lately. It doesn't help that I have had 3 jobs piling up, working back to back with 2 hours of sleep between each shift. This week, I had a conflict with other members of my son's side of the family. My son's dad moved back to Liberia in 2002. He never moved back to the United States. My son was 4 when he moved back. I have become friends with all of my son's aunts, uncles, cousins, grandmother, etc. They have been in my life 17 years. My son is not the type to show emotion. When we first moved back here, he did not want to go down to the Cities to see the family often. As he grew older, he was willing to go from time to time but had a busy restaurant job. He was already in the Army when Sam died. Sam, the father, died 2 weeks after my son graduated from boot camp. to be continued</span></p><p><span style="color: #674ea7; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><br /></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-76367034337257398912022-09-21T05:50:00.012-07:002022-09-25T02:01:43.725-07:00Then again Revised<p><span style="font-size: medium;"> He tried to kill himself twice over two different women. Judy told me it was attention seeking. The other one was not quite sure. I tried to do him good by getting him into treatment and he told me he would be going the Summer of 2022 but he never went. I was not his lover at the time. He was willing to put a knife in his body to prove he is damaged but he cannot attend one AA or church recovery meeting.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I was extremely damaged by his behavior on June 4, 2022. I came to pick up my jacket I left and he was so drunk he spilled his drink everywhere. He tried something else that was highly inappropriate and I had to sprint out of the house. He said he would burn my jacket. The next day he apologized.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I fell out of love with him in 2019 when I met someone new in Colorado. Someone strong who worked 16 hour days and also owned his own trucking business. My life then got better.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Amy faded out of the sunset when she became a drug addict again and finally went to treatment. Now she is in Texas.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I think about him from time to time now because we both work in schools again.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-38897159969368288692022-09-17T01:43:00.003-07:002022-09-17T01:44:36.079-07:00Status<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ4xvAgMCppLBc7V5ChgXU66fZiNY99I-EKYORWfzieKfrXG9h91GAp1JVvJQtVCkDkeEvGSWIJv7ageGXmOcAHrSe0KVSqoF1q036PSks7ZxY4SbojSxNH4CHLz2zJve1es_KKmS1VqBI_dLJoNTYd_vbc1LrrtW4iizPLXvjo7wnjPHd9OmoJ5qJ5w/s3264/20220514_183439.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3264" data-original-width="2448" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ4xvAgMCppLBc7V5ChgXU66fZiNY99I-EKYORWfzieKfrXG9h91GAp1JVvJQtVCkDkeEvGSWIJv7ageGXmOcAHrSe0KVSqoF1q036PSks7ZxY4SbojSxNH4CHLz2zJve1es_KKmS1VqBI_dLJoNTYd_vbc1LrrtW4iizPLXvjo7wnjPHd9OmoJ5qJ5w/s320/20220514_183439.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmQNubo5MqWlMApUVy-7dgSsSGQJp9Si1rzi8JNTP4ytgbsvNBEBhIhO1IxYXrfQhz0pohyz7Ds_gqoTlrB_dGq7JGD22V9Ty8RDt-E-DjZQo4i_jv-0wf_b3fyTvtULvq7fPyReFPh8yoGkIzjCDwga6-8xtcMy5W2Vo4GsfVlZ7mq9wjV8iJh-pLcw/s2576/20220514_182904.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1932" data-original-width="2576" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmQNubo5MqWlMApUVy-7dgSsSGQJp9Si1rzi8JNTP4ytgbsvNBEBhIhO1IxYXrfQhz0pohyz7Ds_gqoTlrB_dGq7JGD22V9Ty8RDt-E-DjZQo4i_jv-0wf_b3fyTvtULvq7fPyReFPh8yoGkIzjCDwga6-8xtcMy5W2Vo4GsfVlZ7mq9wjV8iJh-pLcw/s320/20220514_182904.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <span style="font-size: medium;">These pictures were taken in early summer, 2022. </span><p></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">It possibly represents Mike's inability to take him or life seriously. I collected my Jacket on June 4, 2022 and never turned back.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I have seen Scott a lot this summer but it's solely platonic. I can't do relationships at this time.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I started a new job in the school district 9/12. I like it and it's a non elementary school.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I have 3 jobs now but I am quitting the one in Superior. all 4 now.</span></p><p><br /></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-60353259886185276832022-04-08T19:18:00.002-07:002022-04-08T19:18:46.867-07:00Stress<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg7Da-92KL_Bx4DT53UQ_2xc2a8LDLYdY0X5S-RPYeV2WwGlqqu81tOiBYYaWYJU5P1t6kGJ5M552T4NqYh-VQSDWQJmF4CPQw7NmvGzP7V2Bew8myx0VbsXn49z7YZf6a1F_y5Bhde-mIx1VmixEeRx3UUApKq_NgdCwd-1S60Uwa7_Iq1RgIMg0WWA/s1560/Screenshot_20220329-211730_Instagram.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1560" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg7Da-92KL_Bx4DT53UQ_2xc2a8LDLYdY0X5S-RPYeV2WwGlqqu81tOiBYYaWYJU5P1t6kGJ5M552T4NqYh-VQSDWQJmF4CPQw7NmvGzP7V2Bew8myx0VbsXn49z7YZf6a1F_y5Bhde-mIx1VmixEeRx3UUApKq_NgdCwd-1S60Uwa7_Iq1RgIMg0WWA/s320/Screenshot_20220329-211730_Instagram.jpg" width="148" /></a></div><br /> I decided to add a picture heading to the top of this entry. It has been a long 2 weeks and I successfully paid all my bills except two. I am no longer with MM but I saw him 3 to 4 times in March. If I come over one night but not two in a row, he purposely begins arguing with me. The strange part is that he doesn't even ask me to come over the second night, he just expresses his anger with my schedule by insulting me. I am basically = happily single. I do like a 46 yr old but he is an atheist and although I like his personality a lot, I don't think nothing long term can come of it.<p></p><p><br /></p><p>TO BE CONTINUED.....</p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-60102810256119409872022-03-18T09:08:00.006-07:002022-03-18T09:08:43.651-07:00Dealing with an ex, video<p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9apntjai6w">Unforgiveness, damage and faithlessness</a> </p><p><br /></p><p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9apntjai6w"><span style="font-size: x-large;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9apntjai6w</span></a><br /></p><p><br /></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-32394209834911427522022-03-16T05:39:00.009-07:002022-03-18T09:00:18.788-07:00Paper trail of Slaviero conflict. Paul and my issues<p> This is the email I sent to his wife this morning. I am documenting everything in case I take him to court. I did not enclosed the 8 screenshots of the phone bill text/call logs.</p><p><br /></p><p>To Tonette</p><p><br /><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I am trying to solve a problem and at first went about the wrong way. Enclosed are about 8 screenshots detailing Paul and my phone and text logs. I talked to him 44 min on Feb 17 and 17 min on Jan 26, 10 min in early March etc. Texts are too numerous to count but they are enclosed. We have been friendly as old friends and no scandals. We have been talking long periods of time for one year.</span></span></p><div><div class="ii gt" id=":1dq" jslog="20277; u014N:xr6bB; 4:W251bGwsbnVsbCxbXV0." style="background-color: white; color: #222222; direction: ltr; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem; margin: 8px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><div class="a3s aiL" id=":1dr" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: 1.5; overflow: hidden;"><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_quote"><div class="gmail_attr"><br /></div><div class="gmail_attr">The problem started Monday March 7th when I saw him in person at the Radisson hotel and took him to a bar because local ones were closed. (I drove him.) We discussed why I should not go to the funeral and his answers were inadequate. I agreed to his decision. In 1997, I visited James after we broke up. James demanded I tell him I was carrying Paul's child before I entered his door. James and I did not have that much bad blood but he dated one of my friends then later vandalized her car. Paul left me in early to mid October, he broke a 12 month apartment lease and cheated on me with a woman named Kim. I repossessed the car I gave him and a week later gave him another one. I am not here to rehash the past. Over the years, he has bad mouthed me at times to his family including Myrtle Sandy Rogers who I worked with in 2013. He never told the other side of things.</div><div class="gmail_attr"><br /></div><div class="gmail_attr">Paul and I had a mutual restraining order against each other. We have since made up and talked on the phone on and off for year, sometimes up to one hour each time at night while he is at work. My main point for emaling you was why could I not go to the funeral when it has been 25 years since we dated, I was close to his father. The reason why is he felt it would upset you and James. James is a contentious person on synthetic marijuana. I have not talked to him or seen him 25 years since 1997. You, I don't know. I am not trying to get back in Paul's life. I already was. Also, Wendy said I called you and I didn't. I emailed you. </div><div class="gmail_attr"><br /></div><div class="gmail_attr">I now want the problem solved and my name cleared. I sent you one email and Wendy verbally attacked me on FB. I dropped her as a friend then she blocked me. She was under the impression I haven't talked to Paul at all. I saw him Feb 25 at Superior Rehab nursing home with Arlene. I saw him Monday, March 7. i want nothing more to do with him because of his dual personality but I am tired of being tormented and dumped on. He was going to have James talk to my friend on the phone the morning of the funeral. Why be two faced? I want this thing settled once and for all. I don't want to be treated like dirt. I am willling to put everything aside for one person to listen to what difficulty I have been through and I have had to deal with the way he treated me individually which was well and how he presents me to his family.</div><div class="gmail_attr"><br /></div><div class="gmail_attr">A year ago, he asked me if he could be friends with my identical twin sister Joan in L.A. He said he didn't have enough Christian friends and wanted to be her friend, a Christian he could confide in. She told me No because she didn't want to reopen the past. Then he wanted to sleep at her house during his NFL footbsll event the same weekend as 2022 superbowl. Joan lives in San Pedro now, 30 minutes from downtown LA. At first she said no, then she said if he had another ticket to the event, she would consider it. In the end, he misunderstood. I am not involved in any scandal with Paul, I am just tired with his compulsive lying to your family. I am not willing to be his friend anymore because of the conflicting messages. I am not a bad person, he has just painted me to be one to protect himself. </div></div><div data-smartmail="gmail_signature" dir="ltr"><div dir="ltr"><div dir="ltr"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><b><br /></b></span></div></div></div></div><div class="yj6qo"></div><div class="adL"></div></div></div><div class="hq gt" id=":1e3" style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem; margin: 15px 0px;"></div></div>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-86907634548398018342022-03-15T10:26:00.004-07:002022-03-16T04:58:43.033-07:00Phone logs Paul S. <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh94Z8QcSoPcxB6ti1xugOsvovXF5Mio9jUM8w73U-8o5gAPf5TUMfkRaeDTupikShVWBTsrUiRDMiiXRNvt__P82stBivX4QPg_lFsSn3W5DCliwPINRLNq6bOYLiDb_-hEVrP08DhXt0ThKGrVQaQ3tlgHroWHtjMSq1S69z_KskhicDHt52s6mZ05g=s1560" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1560" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh94Z8QcSoPcxB6ti1xugOsvovXF5Mio9jUM8w73U-8o5gAPf5TUMfkRaeDTupikShVWBTsrUiRDMiiXRNvt__P82stBivX4QPg_lFsSn3W5DCliwPINRLNq6bOYLiDb_-hEVrP08DhXt0ThKGrVQaQ3tlgHroWHtjMSq1S69z_KskhicDHt52s6mZ05g=s320" width="148" /></a></div>44 min Feb 17 at 1:13 a.m. CST and plenty more<br /> I will be posting all text and phone logs from the married Paul Slaviero. I have to convert all my text/call logs to JPEG before I can upload them. I've been talking to my ex for about 2 years. In the last six months, I 've been talking to him about 45 min every 2 weeks. He lives in California. He turned out to be a compulsive liar with a hidden agenda. I am writing a novella, more like a tell all on Amazon so I have to conserve my energy. More to come later.<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhMQFz2Tpmy-Zd7WGSQRxesrBaAI04l0sfYmJ6aFLGBgg2DN5hFF8jxK0Q15pB3DiS3xmsbqX2P7MuKJlzp01lCbMS0icguPkbN5BdYoXWgQVqqCJbBFl5WhmawFMDz03KFeT_fh8JXjNsJIKogQUE18cvpptTsx9bgAHpdmV8NzB6y-4-RyF3vAL99qw=s1560" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1560" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhMQFz2Tpmy-Zd7WGSQRxesrBaAI04l0sfYmJ6aFLGBgg2DN5hFF8jxK0Q15pB3DiS3xmsbqX2P7MuKJlzp01lCbMS0icguPkbN5BdYoXWgQVqqCJbBFl5WhmawFMDz03KFeT_fh8JXjNsJIKogQUE18cvpptTsx9bgAHpdmV8NzB6y-4-RyF3vAL99qw=w241-h320" width="241" /></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjhzBk63PAniFy89bTMUEnqK8PoIKBvdMvuGTEd_Fyf9GVatTCmoQrxQX5P_mNjNqezkvdJA33L37Y0R7ouCyF2_GbKJH-S1c6lKuMMTpTUhCHhO566CmByo5oe6K-O9fFK7j9VETU5rOSJKAv8K20kpqvMQw1PAPi5zRiKdl9yeTlS89W8vODn4dAzzw=s1560" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1560" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjhzBk63PAniFy89bTMUEnqK8PoIKBvdMvuGTEd_Fyf9GVatTCmoQrxQX5P_mNjNqezkvdJA33L37Y0R7ouCyF2_GbKJH-S1c6lKuMMTpTUhCHhO566CmByo5oe6K-O9fFK7j9VETU5rOSJKAv8K20kpqvMQw1PAPi5zRiKdl9yeTlS89W8vODn4dAzzw=s320" width="148" /></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiDq_fpHHjPg5G5YBh2z99Cab4HeuRkdUkWTwCD3zZWXc-N4Fnm-W1uXXSFiJQvm69y-FTgN7tlKzffnsPuUy2sEepEy2HQrrRs85gWgPoJFyCYFQf5EUbyeq5siL5wWLvk9hvvthp9d7S0u0rELPpaYEFlKxrpawSi4y1L1Lro_p0K89OJGmutSASnmQ=s1560" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1560" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiDq_fpHHjPg5G5YBh2z99Cab4HeuRkdUkWTwCD3zZWXc-N4Fnm-W1uXXSFiJQvm69y-FTgN7tlKzffnsPuUy2sEepEy2HQrrRs85gWgPoJFyCYFQf5EUbyeq5siL5wWLvk9hvvthp9d7S0u0rELPpaYEFlKxrpawSi4y1L1Lro_p0K89OJGmutSASnmQ=s320" width="148" /></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /></div><br /></div><br /></div><br /><p></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-38327476265782041572022-02-08T22:06:00.001-08:002022-02-08T22:06:12.257-08:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhcQY78XCW8HlawYr-9kNgsN-6b4kGn6xoXnQpIVud5dX_a-YAAa2_8Fxbqs-_uH2rmY9Zao8pu6T3v6cIdxecDrLfBHAAq60YfcO0IZ68wzC0UQ_pnn0Ribx9xDskFJKcTXdDWHSB_nBuLqJMW7Y6HmGC5QfPguKcmPiNkhR9OGk71GHjxkxEaxg2E7g=s830" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="830" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhcQY78XCW8HlawYr-9kNgsN-6b4kGn6xoXnQpIVud5dX_a-YAAa2_8Fxbqs-_uH2rmY9Zao8pu6T3v6cIdxecDrLfBHAAq60YfcO0IZ68wzC0UQ_pnn0Ribx9xDskFJKcTXdDWHSB_nBuLqJMW7Y6HmGC5QfPguKcmPiNkhR9OGk71GHjxkxEaxg2E7g=s320" width="278" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-36657709200946961762022-01-16T13:32:00.005-08:002022-01-16T13:32:28.799-08:00<p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: georgia; font-size: x-large;">Forgive thy enemies.</span></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-27312527613167688022021-12-11T15:08:00.003-08:002021-12-11T15:08:59.769-08:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgSZGdjAFAo9-JSKhcNpQsdIyDadMbmIGQ-Rx8e3wEkD8k9O2o4o6bn8m6rpNr7kIoauD3Ew80XOuXbOYOYoWDs-C1imQsX1T_xx5WePYLGroE0v52WYJluqOtBtMYHwia2u0Fa2X-qH9ubb9W0ho5Kj5QXHLm5_C0PL2h4-cpQKK5Iv-OJha_yyu4bDw=s1560" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1560" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgSZGdjAFAo9-JSKhcNpQsdIyDadMbmIGQ-Rx8e3wEkD8k9O2o4o6bn8m6rpNr7kIoauD3Ew80XOuXbOYOYoWDs-C1imQsX1T_xx5WePYLGroE0v52WYJluqOtBtMYHwia2u0Fa2X-qH9ubb9W0ho5Kj5QXHLm5_C0PL2h4-cpQKK5Iv-OJha_yyu4bDw=s320" width="148" /></a></div><br /> <span style="font-size: large;">The cycle ends here.</span><p></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">She gets money through bribery.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">I get the last say.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">He gets a D- in how he manages women.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">He gets further deceived.</span></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-16839319617834898942021-12-11T05:18:00.003-08:002021-12-11T07:45:59.387-08:00Revised<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg45FmHgvbxjPxYZi8sbuv5iRc5vbWkJ7DJm1doFUiEI5NMQEAU4pa3o728QWWCfuPiIR9bKDdvfw1UCV-XVbi9W8iNN_T8HlOZIGVcCLGAuiglxxWU4UhpBF6vxu-XNbsaSUPQYiFhG9Hn/s1200/mm.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1177" data-original-width="1200" height="314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg45FmHgvbxjPxYZi8sbuv5iRc5vbWkJ7DJm1doFUiEI5NMQEAU4pa3o728QWWCfuPiIR9bKDdvfw1UCV-XVbi9W8iNN_T8HlOZIGVcCLGAuiglxxWU4UhpBF6vxu-XNbsaSUPQYiFhG9Hn/s320/mm.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><div><span style="font-size: x-large;">It is impossible to save someone who can't be saved. He lied and said he had a date last night AFTER I told him I was busy the next 24 hours. I blocked him this morning after informing him he failed the criteria. He changes on a dime.</span></div><div><span style="font-size: x-large;">The criteria is:</span></div><div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: x-large;">1. stop drinking</span></div><div><span style="font-size: x-large;">2. stop lying</span></div><div><span style="font-size: x-large;">3. Stop triangulating Amy into our whatever it's called.</span></div><div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: x-large;">Now it's called nothing because I blocked him. He really should be alone. He has poor life maintenance skills. He'll just sit there and drink all day and watch movies.</span></div>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-18569165089137751172021-12-10T17:07:00.008-08:002021-12-10T17:48:41.407-08:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia6zBaiQlt1Ku3HO0X0P2ihsjfsLNoEzwnzhQn_viBU1-Tm97UPqAC40gGAGKgXXk5ohgze4zZ__yoyli6fJe4I19GLzlXvuIxbp5JNZTJq8N-Y4KTOhHSPyChKIKSRjifVjGVFA3DKXkv/s2048/20211202_213255.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia6zBaiQlt1Ku3HO0X0P2ihsjfsLNoEzwnzhQn_viBU1-Tm97UPqAC40gGAGKgXXk5ohgze4zZ__yoyli6fJe4I19GLzlXvuIxbp5JNZTJq8N-Y4KTOhHSPyChKIKSRjifVjGVFA3DKXkv/s320/20211202_213255.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /> <span style="font-size: large;">I am working on two projects now. I am writing a story for the press. I finish reading the book my former client wrote about addiction before I can write it. I have the outline in my head.</span><p></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">I am rewriting part of my screenplay and will finish working on that in L.A. when I spend time there beginning 12/22,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">I have had some peace and calmness this week. The ex has not been stalking my blog.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">I have other irons in the fire even though I still sleep at his house. Just a warm body at night, no one I can take seriously. It still bothers her I am around b/c she can't control him.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">Your feisty (not nasty) gf</span></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-70748180501628272792021-11-28T13:54:00.000-08:002021-11-28T13:54:02.008-08:00Improvement<p> <span style="font-size: large;">Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. - Proverbs 3:5,6</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">I have an overwhelming sense of peace and joy in my life now. I did some re-edits on my screenplay on Amazon and now the historical events are more accurate.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">God has given peace because he allowed many opportunities in my life. As long as I am focused on his will for my life. If I stay with him, I will not fail.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-51476082879741130082021-11-19T13:21:00.001-08:002021-11-19T13:21:37.511-08:00Consequences <p> The reason A began retaliating in 2019 is because her primary boyfriend cheated and lied. People have consequences for their actions. Mike told me this summer that God would forgive him for alcoholism. If one is living outside of the light and choosing darkness willfully, God cannot include you in his kingdom. Only those seeking the light and his fellowship will be redeemed. In the last 30 days, I am guilty of trying to impose punishment on Mike. Why? Three times since 2018 he has chosen by his own will to commence in a sexual relationship. Without having any sincerity and being deceitful to me and A, he lied about reforming himself. He will suffer the consequences by God but not by my mandate. There will be punishment for his multiple cheating, serial fornication and refusal to repent. The ringside seat is already arranged. </p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9059390405033885563.post-77074870185704379272021-11-18T23:14:00.001-08:002021-11-18T23:14:22.011-08:00<p> The 40 yr old whose in love with me</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVbqsvWmb3qBNO1FLFKoUfn2wARo6SoGbFzAfPhsXvDxwCKqcuIx0KDAcWZJ1a0n8Ws4vEs5gK5SFIQ9V6VhVUTvevQKv4QbyT2XzeiGXrzxs-nGSDobUzH9NFvvHgtgQGJsKO8cJiBM8Q/s2048/20211114_134430.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVbqsvWmb3qBNO1FLFKoUfn2wARo6SoGbFzAfPhsXvDxwCKqcuIx0KDAcWZJ1a0n8Ws4vEs5gK5SFIQ9V6VhVUTvevQKv4QbyT2XzeiGXrzxs-nGSDobUzH9NFvvHgtgQGJsKO8cJiBM8Q/s320/20211114_134430.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p>aka Scarlett Risenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04166764070870435453noreply@blogger.com0