1996

Yes, I live your near your father but I have not seen him in over a year.

My schedule really does not permit it, to go to the absolute other side of town.

I wish it could.

He was nice to me and forgot the past.

He didn't trade me for poser Bible thumper.

Whatever is in the past, is in the past.

If we had stayed together, I would have never had another child.

I am sure you still think about how I dragged you into court, jacked your car (my car) that you left the title in, etc.

We both did not live up to our ideals.

Gambling at that time was not a vice, it was a distraction.

You were controlling.  You wanted me to dump certain friends.

You never met my most quality friends.

I went to 12 weeks of Catholic instruction in subzero temperatures on foot and on ice.

Not one woman could ever live up to your standards.

I am glad you accepted the mortal condition and met someone who met your general standards.  You recognized the need for companionship.

Even if we loved eachother, we could have been destined for each other but the emotions always ran high and I always had an inkling to escape.  Everything was an Italian job.  You doubted everyone.  In the end, you could not fully trust or love.  Each act of independence was an act of betrayal.

I loved you but love was not enough.

The matter is settled

I feel like Friday's incident at work got the best of me, too.  It led me to tears because of the long working day.  The tears fell down my face at Visionworld while I was waiting for Loran's glasses.  I worked it out with Paul's aunt today at work and we came to an understanding.  She can see that I am a decent, caring person and whatever happened 15 years ago was important but now immaterial.  Paul and I did go after eachother's throats after the break up.  I jacked the car back I sold him because he was too dumb to transfer the title but later gave him another car.  He is just a baby, he never worked out the issues.  In my long term opinion, he went from Karla to me to Kim to Tonette.  He never healed over any situation.  He just got more desparate and persistent.  I truly hope he gets what he wants from life - a woman totally dedicated to him so he will never have to feel insecure again.  I am not the type to pamper and cajole men.  I want someone independent and strong.  Paul, you are past tense.  so why are you still fighting the battle?  Turn it over to God.  God will heal you of the past.