Colorado Mike and I had a long discussion today. We are not abandoning the whole situation and I feel like we still belong in each others lives. We are very familiar with each other after 26 months and all the work we did to get to this place would seem wrong to throw it all away. I don't love him so much in the romantic way but in a married way. We support each other but he is pretty much a rigid type person. My previous relationship was more fluid -- I like men who can actually feel things and express their feelings. Some people are not capable. They are able to in some ways but not in the most important ways.
Having a long distance relationship 900 miles apart is somewhat of a convenience. Its easy to cling to the best aspects of a person and only remember their good influences. I was with someone less intelligent with me and I could offer him advice about things I know a lot about -- choices for his diabetes, his lack of computer knowledge and better business choices. However, it is also easy to forget their negative traits. He has many and that's why I can't really be with someone who doesn't have a broad based knowledge of Christianity and is following a Christian path.
I left my primary job in late October and worked 4 jobs from Nov 10 to Feb 10. One only lasted a month during that time. Now that I am down to 3 part time jobs, life is a lot easier because I don't have to obsess about making money. It gave me time to reflect on what direction my life should go when my son left for boot camp. I got to go to Colorado for 4 days in early Feb. Things are pretty much set now until July 3 when I fly to Georgia for my son's army graduation. I have quit gambling and I am seeking healing in all areas of my life apart from the material world. I am focusing on the spiritual aspect of life that prepares me for entering the kingdom. Eternal life are for those who want to be fully immersed in God's kingdom, influence and knowledge. If our eyes are on the ball, the transformation will take place.
