My trip to California 2018

I lived in California from 1987 to 1991 and 1999-2012, 17 years total.  Here are some pics of my trip in December.  harris Ranch in Coalinga, ocean by San Pedro, Lemon Tree, flowers in SP, Palm Tree in San Pedro.  My twin sister lives a mile from the ocean.  Top 2 pics taken in San Bernadino County

Living in a Dual Homeland

Living in a dual homeland

Thursday Jan. 8th, 2015

Jane Hoffman

Published in Duluth Reader

There is a division line inside my soul and it has geographic entities.  I dually exist in two locations, Los Angeles and Duluth.  One side of my soul is fed through the woodlands and a diet of visual saturation of birds, migration, birch trees and subdued twilights.  The other side of me kicks garbage through the streets, bonds with the homeless as I make my way into the indoor swap meet where my friend, Rownak, runs an aromatherapy store.  The buyers come for the low end prices of high end products.  She has oils named Beyonce, Hillary Clinton and Kardashian.  A scent of a woman underscores the endless gypsy quality of people trapsing through the multiple stores.  The stores are lined up and open every day for the bargain hunter.  I score a leather belt for $1.00 next door and a silver studded belt with rivets my son now sports at his McDonalds job.  Even in 65 degree weather in downtown L.A., there is a human rhythm of excitement, tempo and beat the weekend before Christmas.  This is what I flew here for.  I come to find the missing fragments of my soul I left behind and to treasure a few lost pieces.  Leaving Duluth didn’t seem so bad this winter.  It was around 20 degrees when I left as opposed to last winter when it was minus 40.  I have endured two and a half years now.  I wouldn’t call it home but it is an ancient home.  It is a vestibule of my memory that taunted me from age 1 to 16 when we would visit my Aunt Fanny on West 5th Street.  Her husband, Silvio DeSanto had a telescope in the attic to view Lake Superior’s ship trafficking.  My roots are half way sealed in Duluth through a ventricular vein that routes through the emissary vein to my superficial temporal veins.  What does that mean?  My emissary vein is the diplomatic context of my circulation that shield painful parts of my past and only opens the door to the windows I want to see.   My father’s family came from a place within that circular trouble in my inner world that only surfaces with some warm memories.  He was the 9th of 9 children born on the advent of the depression.  His brother, Tommy Hammerstrom, died of rickets at age 4.  His parents were 2nd generation Swedes.  My father entered WWII three months after he turned 18.  He was a limo driver for English diplomats in England.  My father contoured his life to say it had been rough but he actually was born into a Post war generation that was the most prosperous in the last 100 years.  After graduating from UMD in 1948, he worked at 3M 32 years and became a millionaire.  He invested in stocks and bonds.   But his soul rested in WWII even in his awake adult life.  The struggle of living overshadowed him.  Duluth, the city, to me is the city of archangel steeples and a jagged, hilly landscape embraced for hardship. The sun is often foggy and luminous and the clouds can cast gloom.  The houses are often turn of the century, the brick and stone are possessions of the cityscape.  I practice endurance and overcoming through towering over and observing the constructive make up of the city as I do my driving job 2-3 days a week.  I often drive 150 miles in one day.  Northern Minnesota has that self-sustinence feel as you drive through the silent country pass Rice Lake road to Fredenberg.  People who live here in my mind reap from the silence and their connection to the forest.  The low flying hawks just above me as I drive are speaking a language without symbols.  The roads wind and bend.  I find my way back to my white colonial home which I have made my own.  When crossing the country once a year to go “back to California” I am returning to my other half where my identical twin sister lives with her 14 year old son.  A place where my son can reunite with his cousin.  I can go back to First Baptist of Beverly Hills in which I first started attending in 1987.  It’s a church of about fifty members.  Faith Ford of Murphy Brown, David Choe – a famous Korean artist who designed the Facebook walls and Chance Raspberry, a cartoonist for the Simpsons all derived from church.  I was able to connect with two of them over the Christmas break.   In California, life gives flight to my dreams.  In Minnesota, I engulfed in my heritage.  I practice responsibility caring for the disabled.  I am a better citizen.  I still don’t know fully who I am but I know that I live between two places of beauty.  The coniferous forest that breeds pines and sanctuary and the wild chaos that comes from a blended flux of mass immigrants that keep my heart in tempo to the true America.  I move 4 homeless blankets to make room for my rental car behind Rownak’s store.  It gives a feel of the transience I feel.   I hold the dirty blankets which are an element of someone’s home. As I shift them to the sidewalk, I see their owner.  The exchange in handing him the blankets is an awakening to the earth I stand on.  I can comprehend that temporary delusion that life has a sense of permanence.  All I know is I have to keep moving.

CREDITS

Jane Hoffman

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Negotiating economic, business strategy coupled with government role in U.S. History; Noam Chomsky; Impact on Latinos, too

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/tabernaclefaith/2016/10/22/requiem-for-the-american-dream-noam-chomsky-fed-paper-10-madison

Noam Chomsky's documentary on changing dynamics of economy and relationship to government.  It is the protection of opulent minority against mob rule/factions.
REQUIEM FOR THE AMERICAN DREAM is the definitive discourse with Noam Chomsky, on the defining characteristic of our time - the deliberate concentration of wealth and power in the hands of a select few. Through interviews filmed over four years, Chomsky unpacks the principles that have brought us to the crossroads of historically unprecedented inequality - tracing a half century of policies designed to favor the most wealthy at the expense of the majority - while also looking back on his own life of activism and political participation. Profoundly personal and thought provoking, Chomsky provides penetrating insight into what may well be the lasting legacy of our time - the death of the middle class, and swan song of functioning democracy. A potent reminder that power ultimately rests in the hands of the governed, REQUIEM is required viewing for all who maintain hope in a shared stake in the future.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/tabernaclefaith/2016/10/24/noam-chomsky-racial-cleavage-la-raza-power-brokering

There was a point when....

Climatic change is an awful thing. I am speaking of the climatic change of my own doing by moving to a frigid climate.  I came from a place of eternal sunshine, endless roads, mountains and valleys.  There were also a steady stream of people around me.  I had money.  Living in many places has created a lot of holes in my soul.  I have often tried to fill the gap of nostalgia with returning to places that may fill me up.  After receiving my inheritance in 2011, I did choose to come back to Minnesota in 2012 so that my son could experience a normal education similar to one I grew up in.  He liked it and I made the right decision for a time.   He will be graduating this June and I will return to California shortly after that.  Some people can handle six month winters.  I can't.  I grew up in Central Minnesota in the Twin Cities which is very eclectic and stimulating.  Duluth is the epitome of hardship.  The landscape is ragged, the buildings ancient, the conditions fierce.  I cannot endure Duluth. That is why I chose gambling for a time.  I chose it because it was a short term solution to a long term problem.  I suffer from depression.  I probably did not even think through the entire decision to move here.  I am glad it was a good one for my son and that I created another solid foundation to discover a new aspect/lifestyle in America.  He may stay when I leave and I will have to provide him a supplemental support system.  But I have to leave.  Things happened here that did not happen anywhere else.  Painful things that I am through support able to put behind me.  I have now relaunched my running career and am running a 1/2 marathon in July or so.  I am not picking the top race in the region here, i am picking a lesser one.  The comradery I will feel with my body when it is fully developed once again will give me the strength to make better decisions in the future.  I thank God for all the good things that have happened to me in the last two years and I put aside all the painful ones.  I am also involved recently with some educational websites that will gain me more income in preparation to leave.

Been broke, still broke but not broke enough to travel....

Legitimate bills, legitimate payments.  Money comes in, money comes out.  That's how it be.  This month, in addition to my $1700 a month bills, I had to buy 280.00 in return tickets and 340.00 in outgoing tickets.  So that's 620.00 in extra expenses.  I tend to buy one way tickets b/c it is cheaper.  In this case, the return tickets from Arizona were cheaper but the outgoing tickets to Calif. were not.  However, a lot of ppl pay like $500-700 round trip to cross the county at Christmas and I only paid 310. a person.  I am going to L.A. WOO HOO.  L.A. mon....karumba!!!!  We haven't had a dismal winter but it did come early.  It was 40 degrees today, practically a record in No. Minnesota.  This was a pretty good week for me becuz it was not high stress.  I have had diarreha 9 days straight.  I wonder if I got food poisoning or a virus.  I think I got bad meat from the Lutheran food shelf, sorry to say.  They also once gave me soup that expired in 2012 during 2014.  no good.  I hate to say it, but the Vineyard Church has a better organized more extravagant food shelf.  They even give full birthday cakes when its your birthday month.  The poor of Duluth really need that.  Its a true gift.  I only went to the Vineyard Church 3x this year.  2x it was when another teenager was residing in my house for four months.  I don't think of it as being a mooch although at times that is how I feel.  I can't make my bills sometimes and food is expensive these days.  Even after quitting gambling, my rent is 825. a month, car payment almost $400 a month (I pay twice a month now instead of every other week), car insurance $60, loans $200, student loan 9.99, cable phone and internet 140.00 and the list goes on.  Life can be tough but it is do able now that I quit gambling.

I could not give plasma today because I had a bruise where they took the needle last time.  After buying six dollars worth of gas and a minimum five dollar purchase at the store, I have six dollars left until payday on Thurs.  I have to give plasma on Tues and hopefully it will be a go.  I drank lots of water last night with the intention of giving plasma today and I could not give.  My bruise was only 1/2 inch by 1/4 inch.  They told us not to carry heavy objects after giving but I did .  I carried a medium sized TV downstairs that was donated to me after my client moved out.  Therefore, I paid a $50 price and some comfort that would have carried me through the week.  Luckily, Loran and I have just enough food in the house til payday and I don't wanna buy a ton more becuz we are leaving for 10 days to C-a-l-i-f-o-r-n-i-a.  Amen to that.  I am a freewheeling Californian in my heart.

Jon, Bob and I are going to take photo ops for our promotions for our radio show.  I will be going to Riverside County to see Laura and see a lot of other friends.  Peace out.

Link to food bank article at Vineyard Church

http://duluthreader.com/articles/2014/11/20/4391_the_huddled_masses

Going back to my roots- Part I (California to Minnesota)

No state compares to Minnesota, no greater place of beauty, no greater secret of spiritual lands of the Ojibwe.

Above- My father's high school - Duluth Central

Duluth, Minnesota

I drove 2,739 miles from Los Angeles, Ca to Duluth, MN.  It would have taken me maybe 3.5 days had I not missed a crucial turn on the I-40 in Vegas near Boulder City.  That small hairpin turn by Kingman, AZ was maybe a time saver or a scenery changer.  I ended up going thru Mesquite, Nevada which was quite interesting-a true Western town of dustiness and valor with a dotted horizon of two-three casinos.... and North on the I-15 to Green Valley Utah....there is a very quaint cavern of mountains in AZ by Nevada border like the Painted desert but it has a river running thru it, I will look up exact geo location later.  Well, I went through S. Utah and Colorado.  I was in the middle of Utah Nowhere when the news came out about the murderer in Aurora Colorado.   Aside from that blotched tragedy across the American landscape, I found the I -70 to be impeccable condition, no potholes, no pock marks.  the Drive from Richfield, Utah to Denver was flawless with beauty larger than can be imagined.  I will upload some photos of that journey after I edit this out. I have to go to church now. (I will continue this when I return).