Colorado Mike

 I guess I am the phony now.  On the days I don't talk to him, I resent him and the unfinished business, his inability to perceive a conciliatory communication, the position he always maintains which is general shallowness.  The days I speak to him by text or phone, I still get a igniting surge, like this was once the warm love that kept my fire going daily.  Now he is just a caricature, an inarticulate frozen picture of unmet wants and needs, of fixed thought patterns that have no intellectual backing, a cut out cardboard Ken doll with no finese or swagger.  He was good looking.  That was it.  He had a rigid personality, non intelligent perceptions about politics.  He gravitated to a quasi victim mentality himself by comparing himself as the working class vs. the non working welfare class.  Have you ever raised a child on $500 a month, bro?  And did you ever mingle with the poorer element of society or better yet, did you offer them a hand?  Even your trophy wife left you for your ingratitude and inability for you to show affection.  You always took the easy way out.  You always went to work at 5 a.m. instead of dealing with the issues.  He can still do that til the end of time but never gain anything.   He will end up empty handed.  On one hand, he answers all my tests and is respectful when he responds.  On the other hand, he is a deceiving, non truthful liar who I can't even generate real feelings anymore because he is plagued by his limitations.  I am posting the worse pic of him, here.  I tried my best but now I am just sick of the overall effort of loving someone.   Sianara.  Go back to your shallow fish pond.  Yes, Jane, this is healthy anger.  A place to share my pain.