Being a friend

Being a friend means being able to recognize that your personhood can generate the circumstances that create betrayal. By being loyal to you, it means that I have to take a back seat 75% of the time while you pursue your primary needs.  I fall into the category of secondary needs.  By remaining platonic, I am not risking much but if I continue to choose to be involved on a physical level, I am risking almost everything except the end game which I know will never come to fruition.

Being an honest friend means we both own our own shortcomings.  I will continue to work on stop gambling and you will continue to stop or control your drinking.  It doesn't mean that you reach for a lifesaver intertube every time life disappoints you.  When a person does come to rescue you, it means you cannot allow yourself to wallow and pity and talk about the old days and how no one is there for you when people are!!!  It means you have to submit to biblical instruction and begin a new, clean lifestyle free from worry, stress, disappointment and hangovers.  It means that God will give you a new heart and a new will to please him and put your best foot forward.   It means being free from the vortex of trying to please two people and even yourself.  It means confronting life in the eyes with ll it's ugliness and disappointments and looking for a silver lining in the scriptures that enlighten men every day.

Take that first step and begin by loving yourself not demanding that those around you love you unconditionally.  I was your friend but even as your savior, I could not save you from yourself.