If I tell you the truth, will you leave me alone now? I could have left it dormat forever. Like a faraway song inside my head or another, those who have a memory of me. My son would have perhaps been confused but he would not have taken that extra time to get to know me and even if he tried, he might have had to swindle it out of me.
There was a point where I let things fall away. It's not that I didn't want my actions to result in consequences. I just imagined this very large river, kinda like an outwash where the unplanned actions would merge and all mistakes or intended unguided mindsets would accumulate there. In the framework of my mind, I knew there still would be rent to pay and more regular bills but it was going to be solved in the context of some grandiose crescendo, not the normal humdrum of a full time job or working overtime. I was consciously looking for that breakthrough.
I rounded the bend but then there were 3 more curves
to be continued
copyright @Jane Hoffman
As you can see, I am short on time these days. I am adding another entry at midnight tonight.