Saturday, June 23, 2012
The laws of capitalism
The impetus for the normal flow of convictions is lived out through the Christian socialist mantra of sacrificial doctrine. Within the scope of my reality, the things I aspire to are in a more monumental task gathering: to help my brother in need, sustainability through spreading Christian energy and to make an impact on the world. How can this be possible in a fallen, capitalistic state? My job ended on Tuesday and most of us LAUSD folk are in limbo as to whether we will have a job in the Fall and how many hours. Its a priority system. I have been there 2.25 years. I know one woman who has been there over 20 years and one guy who has been there 17 years and helped train people who are now managers. For them, the loss of an LAUSD adult school job was devastating. My wages are not enough to put me in the devastated category. It was a transient job, a means to an end while I finished my credential. I do have retirement, though, and the prestige of being an LAUSD employee. On Wednesday, I was trolling through Craig's List looking for a makeshift job until I moved to Minnesota as planned in August. I ran across a telemarketing type job that would have been in-bound calls in my home. I didn't think about the nature of the overpriced product I would be selling. I was just addicted to the idea of a job to fill my time. That's how it goes with me. Having a job is a big part of my identity, being laid off is almost shameful. I have plenty of things to do in my idle time, but with little rationalization. My rent is more than double than what it was a few months ago due to a fallout in an assistance program I was in. In a way, its not the high rent that plagues me or the lack of luster-filled jobs on the market. Its being chained to an identity of doing. I want to be. Anyway, I pursued this job as an immediate answers to my human condition. The guy was responsive to me in getting back to me about the job but he said, "Frankly, you are over-qualified." Does a capitalist money grubber really know or care if I am over-qualified. If I am hungry, can't I bag groceries if that's what I need to do? Can't I sell oranges on a corner if that's what I need to do? Who is going to dictate what I need to do to survive? I guess that would be in a sense, the one who has the power to pay me. Needless to say, I lost my patience with him after he took more than 24 hours to get back to me. If I had more than a 30 day turnaround, I would start my own business from home or open up a leased space down where my friend works on 6th and Los Angeles Street. I would be an enterpriser. To push the boundaries of one's own capacity would be limitless. I would want to sell more than the space offered. Down by Rownak's store, there are stores that sell rare rocks, gemstones, unusual toys or even keepsakes for the dresser. There are quite a few innovative shops where she has her incense store. What do people really seek when they go into this indoor style swap meet? There are cheap movies, a wide variety of shoes, belts, animal backpacks, regular backpacks, bulk socks, electronics. The list goes on. Capitalism both defies and tranquilizes me. Do we really need anything but shelter and clothing? Its not good to be tempted in this fashion. To see everything and to visualize it as a need. That is why I find engaging in Capitalism to be both a blessing and a curse. yes, you can make money but is that the true purpose? I just want to simply sustain myself without compromise.