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Thursday, February 3, 2011

Let the shoe drop where it will

I cannot reprint a quote from KABC webpage so I will make a reference that "skewering myths"is not often true. He is often ignoring larger truths that occurred when he left the heart of Black America.

I'd like to say I had a pleasant masochist, duel tango with Larry of KABC. I corresponded with him over three months on Facebook. It was more of a romantic joust with a few testing love lines in from time to time. I watched myself before it ever got to the threshold of full abysmal love. The kind you become desperate in. If I did not currently hate him, I would probably still love him. He is charming, direct but cold-hearted. We decided on lunch twice at a common KABC watering hole but he indicated twice at the end of the text....you pay with a smiley face. After thinking about this once or twice...in a joke sense or out of context, I kept wondering...are you fucking serious? Maybe he thought I was compensating him for his time. But I didn't really initiate the flirting. Our friendship or correspondence started out with light arguing about his political positions and him criticizing Obama. He was cordial in other ways when he lacked genuine humanness. He let me post my radio link on his fan page twice in which it got 333 hits the first time and about 85 the second time. Twice, I told him I had a crush on him and indicated I couldn't really decide to keep the 81 day conversation going. All I know, is in the end when I finally blocked him (last night)...my feelings got hurt....because in the end, I knew he had sold out to the status quo (in the sense he truly believes he is on the side of logic but not justice) and he probably wasn't 100 percent sincere. He told me I was good looking; I revealed something to him about my current life that had taken me from the poverty level to upper middle class but two of his jokes related to money...mainly my money...and how he had no problem spending it. He said he had been at a casino that sponsored KABC...I believe Valley View Casino....he said I had been with him, who knows? We may have gone through my $100,000 inheritance. Just so lightly to say such a thing....does he have any friggin clue how much I struggled the last 10 years including stories I wouldn't even dare tell him because he would label me a victocrat? Just saying, it was never an unpleasant exchange, but there were unpleasant signs that I was just some white adoring fan who he could take advantage of because of his fame. Yes, I did include my race because he would never say that to a Black woman. And I included the pontificated review of his show above because after thinking about it...I want to inform everyone that he does not break through all pretensions because he has no understanding of the struggling legacy of his own race. He has no clue what its like to struggle in a ghetto or be a Black urban poor in recent years even if he witnessed that as a child, he has divorced himself from the Black suffrage from slavery to emancipation. I am crediting his hard work and success to his own work ethic, but to dismiss yourself from the struggling and poor of this country (not just Black) is not really noble, not everyone can rise about the $50,000 income barrier - it is not possible given time, place and circumstances. By calling out Spike Lee as a racist as he did in 10 Things you Can't Say in America...he is being subjectively rational but non dimensional in his understanding about race. I worked in public housing and the Blacks who were suppressed and disenfranchised the longest do not approve of racial mixing. Just because Larry doesn't agree with them doesn't make Spike Lee wrong. It just means Spike Lee believes in separate racial identity and by racial mixing, it is like being subjugated again by the White slave owner. I can understand that as a white person, why can't he understand that as a Black person. I was tight with my boss in public housing. I went to go see him 20 years after I left my public housing position in Virginia. I proclaimed a genuine love for this man to my best female Black friend who lived in public housing and rescued herself form public dependence. When I told her of a possible relationship with my boss, she said "Do you think that man wants a white woman up in his house?" To the part of the Black race who suffered the most, there is still a divisional consciousness about what can be done and what can't. So the lunch date I never paid for never happened. Ironically, Larry behaved no better than the leeching Black men who often has described pawning off the white woman. Why is he begging off me for lunch money when he owned a $4 million house in the Hollywood hills? I don't remember him being on the food stamp rolls like me in recent years...me out of necessity, him disassociated from anything having to do with human need, public assistance, lets just say need period. For that, I learned my lesson. Never try to tout the self righteous and disassociate member of their own historical past. What could I offer him? Another lesson in identity crisis and offering affection unjustly? Me, for fame, and Larry, just because he could.

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