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Thursday, May 30, 2013

Having Children

Seeing What to Expect when you are expecting was a little too much for me.  See, I had one ectopic pregnancy that I had to eliminate, I had another stillborn at 26 weeks who I named Serenity Jade and I had a child who lived named Alexis Hoffman who died at 21 months of a failed heart transplant.  When JLo received the adopted Ethiopian baby, I felt I had come full circle when in real life, I myself, had given birth to a son of African descent, Loran Oliver Hoffman.  The gift of motherhood that was removed from me in 1992 with Alexis' death was restored in 1998, six years later with a 8 lb. 1 oz. boy.  The father and I were not together at the time.  I realized by watching the movie "What to Expect When you're Expecting," I did not have a companion by my side when carrying my son 9 months.  It was me and me alone.  I did not have a spouse to complain of about pain or share ideas for the future.  I did have a support group in Minneapolis, a roommate and my mother was still alive until almost the end.  Then she died 8 days before my son was born and I named him after her.  There were many things that came out in the movie which is difficult for a parent who has lost children to watch.  I randomly came across the movie on Netflix when I was searching for something else.  I enjoyed much of the movie, esp. the male bonding scenes of fatherhood with Chris Rock and the like.  It was a worthwhile movie.

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