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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Another revision of "I don't hear the dogs barking"

In the beginning of the story, images of the moon and the man shift in patterns where the earth and light overshadow him as his senses dull.  The man is a father who carries his son a long journey in hopes of finding a place to get well.  The movement and the conversation are splintered like poetic parallels with shifting land thresholds to represent the symbolic meaning of their journey. Its purpose was defined and meaningful until clouded with warm words that became harsh and jolted bitterly through the body of the son being carried over the old man's shoulders..  The father's burden increased as the son became more still.  His words stinging like the venom of snake created a slow death.  The father, whose heart had been lost with the death of his wife, cursed his dying son. The father, who depends on the child for hearing and sharpened senses used his tongue as a measure of condemnation that destroyed the interior light and the possibility of grace between them.
The father senses dulled and was based on a kind of sixth sense of a non salvageable child within the world around him. I predicted that the father was hard of hearing, even before it reached the point in history where this was revealed. In effect, the father turned to him, the child's life was drained. The son wanted to rest but the father wanted to enforce a promise beyond shepherding his son.  I think he wanted to transfer the pain he felt towards his son onto his son. The child was wrapped around the head of the father constraining  the sight, sound and movement. The father was trapped in his own truths unevenly built and the lack of redemption from a broken mind. I liked the beginning of the story better, where there seemed to be a symmetry between the earth and the journey men. The story was a kind of disintegration, a tale of caution for the senses becoming a clearer definition to the heart of the story as revealed. The burden of child's distress appeared to be a choice, not a curse as indicated below. The child's death was not the climax, which was the father, who stuck to his son on the cross saying that his blood was damned within his own flesh and blood.. The story, because rather small and bitter, with no empathy for any of the characters at the end. Perhaps the original root of hatred came from the father who never had the capacity to love. The son was too weak to support or even defend himself. The father seemed to know everything about the child, speedy trials and quality of the friends of the child. The father's last moments of his child's life was to penetrate the curse further and lay slaughter to any possible hope of making his own burden of guilt nonsense. The physical effort to help bring a measure was also talk of a bond, but more of a ritual that he felt compelled to do so.  (written by Jane Hoffman)

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