I said goodbye weeks ago

 The only lifeline you had left was to ask me about church and God.  I told you it was over....weeks ago. I said I'm not coming back. I'm seeing someone else and that I'm too busy. You still want to play games that no one else will. "I'm going to block you if you don't write me back." The chance you should give is the one for yourself. Not wrangle yourself with women your incapable of loving.  Start with repentance than asking God for guidance.  Stay out of relationships until you are emotionally well. STOP DRINKING and threatening suicide.  Living righteously takes work.