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Monday, September 2, 2019
The Love Triangle ceases (Revised)
This is how the scenario usually goes. AW is upset with MM for something he did or did not do. She punishes him by not giving him sex. Then he comes to me. It happens an average of 2x a month. I am out of my element by staying involved with this mess. Why? Because the situation was less than satisfactory. #1 He is ruining his life by drinking. #2 She is ruining her life by clinging to him. #3 I feel disenfranchised, I don't love him anymore but I like the connection. The circulating drama morphs itself every weekend into a new catastrophe. Two weeks ago, she figured out he was cheating on her. He made fancy steaks but dis-invited her because she took to long. I came over around 1 a.m. and ate the steaks. I didn't sleep with him. He had suicidal thoughts so I left. Fast forward a week. She thought it was awesome that she had sex with someone else 25 years younger. She flaunted it at him. His knee jerk reaction was to come back to me. I didn't promise him this, it was a remote possibility. It didn't happen for two reasons. She was in his driveway all night and I had to prepare for a road trip. Over time, this situation is not fun anymore. The excitement of sneaking away with him "for the momentary pleasure" has lost it's arc. It is also affecting my spiritual life. It is dragging me down as a Christian to exchange momentary pleasure for all this negative chaos. I cannot be unequally yoked with someone who is so rudderless and unsure of what he wants. He really doesn't know what he wants but I suspect he wants two women. I don't believe he can love or love in a way that is satisfactory to make a woman happy. As I said, I am setting the record straight for two reasons. Once i start my other job tomorrow, I want to live a clean life, free of anxiety. I want this tri-liasion to be over because neither of the other two people are in recovery like me, both of them refuse to work on their issues. They keep evolving into a circle of dissatisfaction based on each other's correlating actions. They are mess together nnd with me in the picture, it is messier. I have kept him around for convenience and that is a sin, too. I end up becoming the counselor to both and it is not helping, either.
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