Shades of Grayout: Spiritual Redemption

At some point, a person has to examine themselves why they would spend one whole year complacent and non-commital.  One could easily explain that on one hand, this person is gaining by their indecisiveness.  Knowing what they don't want means that they ultimaely won't lose what they need to retain or possess.  He probably knew all along that it wasn't really playing the odds because one female was immutable, she would not leave no matter what.  The feeling one gets when there are no winners is that the earth sinks into the ground.  I only know one thing.  The euphoria I felt making love to him was something I have not felt in years.  It's not anything anyone can explain away or minimize.  My lips on his lips, my tongue upon his flesh, his deep in mine, these are experiences I don't take for granted.  That is why I remain patient and never possessive.  No one person belongs to another fully.  You cannot own a human being.  There is a thing such as true. adulated love but that consists of two people who never betray one another at any cost.   More later.....