It's hard getting over someone

Things are rough right now.  The sincerity in his voice was like an explosive shell of a French artillery gun wiping down the residue that stained my face in the wake of an abandoned love post.  Whatever means he tried to articulate himself and improve the situation was an after-effect, a gesture that could not sustain the relationship or friendship.  And yet, we still continued to talk, skirting the issues that formed this zip code cleavage union, with no resurrection in sight.  (to be continued)

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These last few days were not a revelation or epiphany.  Love is something one fights for.  I don't feel like Drew has the capacity to fight for love.  He is wrapped up with his day to day operations at his regular job and his other business.  There is something missing at the core.  He lacks passion in all aspects.  He is not someone who understands fully the meaning of loss even though his brother just died in December at age 54 of a chronic addiction.  Perhaps, I don't understand him.  Days have passed now since Tuesday July 16th.  I feel like my chest has been opened and my heart dropped through my body.  At times, he is sincere and nice and other times a coward.  I am not feeling it.  My previous boyfriend had a lot more passion and love.  He was real and unscripted.  I feel like if I prudently invest anymore time into this cross continental relationship it will truly be a waste.  I am cultivating a new relationship with someone who lives on the North Shore aways up from Duluth.  All 4 now.

I don't feel I will ever recover from this situation.  I feel dead inside.  I have been covering up myself wtih responsibility.  I still talk to Drew every day and I think it's actually making things worse.  IF I didn't have my G.A. Support group and church, I would die.