I have gone thru a myriad of feelings the last few weeks. Yet many times I don't have room for feelings because I am so busy. Yesterday, I worked 15 hours. I feel exhausted yet propelled to do great things. I watched the beloved movie "Recount." What an amazing movie. Kevin Spacey was the jaugernaut in that movie. They also portrayed some of the leadership like Jim Baker on the Republican side not as harshly. There was a human element to the story except for when it came to Katherine Harris. Laura Dern played it well, an unspooled, unprepared Secretary of State with no sense of justice, only an agenda....more on that in the Duluth Reader.
A few weeks ago I was accused by a supervisor of not being in the right place at the right time. I had a receipt to prove it. This week, I had a conflict in which I had to attend a hearing and was unable to make it to work. I could not find coverage and it created a conflict. I have 3 jobs so if anyone reads this, I will be sure not to mention which one it is. I also found out someone stalked my FB page and narc'ed on me. I only stated how I felt, no names. It is my pesonal FB page, i do public advertising for my radio show. Stalkers welcome on my radio show. I don't use my FB page as a stage to meet my conditions. If something bad happened, I post it. If something good happened, I mention it. If I feel benign or tempermental about the weather or some other nuanced thing, I mention it. Someone get angry at me for making 3x what I make, but I can't get mad that I was deceived into a contract I did not agree with. When is it legitmate to express one's feeling. Is a blog a safe place? I am not on Instagram or constantly Twittering. I am me with limited time. My heart is scorned and I am angry. I was abused by an employee - ostracized and condemned, I covered hours for other people who needed last minute things, there were other problems I can't mention in case I get stalked again. You know what it is. I am just gunna keep my mouth shut and not talk to anyone anymore. I will answer their questions but not initiate any. I had more freedom at night shift. I feel chained.
May 28, 2014
My hearing only took 15 minutes. I feel better today. I hope people can restore their faith in me. I don't want to be full of anxiety and feel like bad intentions are in the air. I fell strong and powerful today. last night, I stayed at the Reader til 12:37 a.m. editing and doing my job. I feel a community with those group of people - one writer, the editor, and graphic designer. I don't feel alone in Duluth anymore. I also found out the person who treated me badly on my job, --a coworker not a boss, her son died suddenly on April 27th. That is really sad. He was 27 years old. He had 3 young children. It must be devastating for her. All 4 now.