Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Today's thoughts and verse
I have become an artful compromiser of everyone's problems but my own. An artful, articulate debonair with swagger, hands that spell persuasiveness, Henry Kissinger style diplomacy and an intimate magical sword. There is only one problem. I am among the poor. I negotiate with money but I don't really win. There are only few of my friends who offer a fair wage in exchange for me helping them. What shall I say? I shall say that I am always offering too much to too many people and then I suffer. The worse situation is my boyfriend. I gave him 40.00 to help me move things to storage. I guess a fair wage woulda been 25.00 b/c I bought him dinner at Noho Cafe as well. Why am I such a sucker for this man? We get along beautifully and since we stopped having sex our relationship has gotten much better. I know it will be hard for a random person who reads this blog to believe that. We have dated since 9.2.11, over 10 months, going on 11 months. We will never be married b/c I am 24 yrs older than him. But we truly love each other. I know he probably loves me in motherly way, like I am his protector in a big city while his mother lives 6,000 miles away in Tajikistan. I love him deeper than words, memory, a physical gesture, an explanation, a poetic verse, a casual smile, a true life sacrifice. He is part of me, he encompasses my body and embellishes me, nutures me and makes me as whole as any earthly companion from the opposite could. He was really tons of fun today. He kept riding on the cart when we were moving stuff up to my new storage. He was full of fun and love and soft spoken jokes. Our demeanor blended with the gentle breeze that pervaded through North Hollywood, the pleasant sun, the mild temperature. Our unity was symmetry, beauty, grace. This journal entry has given me a blessing to share these intimate thoughts.