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Friday, December 9, 2011

The way it started, rather casually with no true effectual feelings....

The lofty letter I planned to write in my own blood stained ink, with my own true confession and devotion of my love for him has now faded into a dissipated capsule of angst, hatred and doubt. The signs have been there all week thru loose negotiation that the urgency, the imperative, the resolution existed but not with fervency. I have concluded heartfully that I can no longer love James to the fullest. Through his actions and words, he has caved in my soul. His words contour a politician more equivocally than a salvaged and claimed boyfriend. I think here lies the problem and I am not biased. He is an opportunist with semi-good intentions. He said after watching a YouTube video of me, he decided to pursue me. We already knew each other from a comedy club appearance in which we both participated. The fact of the matter was, I did not notice him in a male kind of way. I asked him to video tape me and he complied. He then asked me to video tape him and I did. I forwarded the video to his email. I thought absolutely NOTHING about the whole incident. He did not make a remarkable impression on me. I thought his stage performance was awkward and his jokes were borderline distasteful. In July, 2011, he called me while I was on vacation in Minnesota. I told him I would be returning in about a week but the first time we met again was 8.2.11. I broke off the relationship on Dec. 2, 2011, exactly 3 months after our first date. This is a pre-blog - I have more to tell later after I eat a late dinner.

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