Whole story condensed - revised

 I started seeing Mike in late October, 2018.  I haven't dated in 4 years because I was a single mom, raising a high school child.  I had one boyfriend in Duluth from 2013-14.  We are still like best friends.  My last significant boyfriend in L.A. was an actor from Tajikistan, 23 yrs younger than me.   He spoke 7 languages.  It was a big deal when I met Mike because he ultimately became the best lover of all time.  He blew my mind and expanded my world.,  As a Christian, I purged most of my earthly pleasures and this new fragment of my life was unexpected.  We dated 3 months and I came over early one day, an hour before I was supposed to and his real girlfriend was there, whom I did not know about.  She remained calm and we had a discussion and then I left.  I saw him once about a month later and we did briefly get involved again.  I also had an article published in the Superior Telegram about a bad experience I had with him.   I learned over time, he was a troubled person emotionally.  The 2-3 times he came to my house the first 3 months, I had to drive because he didn't drive on the weekends.  He was a full blown alcoholic.  The whole situation dissolved and I started seeing him again over the summer.  His girlfriend, who I liked and respected, knew everything that was going on.  One time I lied to her because I went through the front door when she was waiting in the back for him to open the door.  He did put her through hell but she was attached to him and not ready to break away.  I was not the replacement so to speak.  I was the "other woman."  In the summer of 2020 we stopped seeing each other again around his birthday.  I didn't hear from him for 9 months and I saw him all Summer 2021.  This time, the third time around, it was a freeing experience because we only planned on seeing each other on a caldendar driven basis  meaning when I was available.  There was no pressure, no fights - we just enjoyed each other physically.  There were a few times I backed away because he was demanding of my time and started hurting my feelings more from about Oct. 1 on.  He kept telling me about all the dates he planned to go on.  He wasn't my boyfriend but I was also his lover.  These are things you cannot discuss with someone you are involved with.  But he did anyway, and was totally oblivious to how I felt.  I invited him to church four Sundays in a row and he refused to go.  He also told me he promised God he would go to church but didn't because he overslept.  Being around him overall has caused me a lot of pain and unnecessary suffering because of his self centeredness, his demands to be served and the confusion he causes getting drunk every day.  He had been tried to be nicer to me this summer and was more respectful but in the end he mistreated me as a woman.  I am not over it, I am angry but I am not going to lash out.  Those of you who read my blog may gain from it in human understanding.  No genuine love can come from a man who is objectively self serving and insincere.