Shades of Grayout: Spiritual Redemption

Sometimes my reaction is defensive because even when I apologize, Amy insults me.     I asked Mike 4 $$$ tonight because I was in a pickle after over paying my bills. She knew the situation but after apologizing she used it as a way to discredit me. So therefore, I chose the easy way out and insulted her back. During this argument, a family member sent me $75 through PayPal. The reason I posted the previous post about Mike is I remember one day this summer when I needed help he gave me $25. He was having problems that day and had to move a bed from his father's house. He was angry at me for talking to Amy. 2 hours later he forgave me and we made love. It's hard for me to lose somebody that I love and I was shafted in the Tripod of love. But even when I try to do the best thing and put my best foot forward, it is not always recognized.  Mike and I don't communicate by cell anymore.  I have buried the bones and there is no resolution but I'm not angry.  I walked away because he chose to remain in a volatile relationship with a woman whom he has had numerous problems in the past.  I believe the familiarity of their foreknowledge of eachother has solidified the bond and underneath they love eachother.  Amy has been decent to me in the past but currently, even common communication proliferates her vulnerability.  The threat exists in her base inability to solve every day problems and face magnified fears that a man will abandon her.  I have dipped out of the disproportionate masochist tango of Amy and Mike.  I am free.