THE PRICE (REVISED)

I have not really told anybody about my recent sufferings.  Yes, I will tell the truth because I have been avoiding the pain.  I had been talking to Mike 2-3 x a week since we "broke up" our liaison on or about August 30th.  He was angry I told his current girlfriend that I had been at his house.  We didn't have sex that night, we just cuddled.  I felt uncomfortable around 3 a.m. so I left.  I left because Amy was in the back driveway earlier trying to figure out Saturday night why he was upset.  He told me he was confused and wanted to die and I felt I could not help him.  I was at work and then went somewhere and arrived at his house at 1 a.m.  She text me around 12:45 a.m. to tell me she was there.  He let me in through the front door.  I ate the steaks he made her because he said they would go to waste.  Beyond, all the antics, the true question is what does Mike want?  Does he just want constant companionship no matter who?  I felt compelled to tell AW the truth.  She said she may not believe me until I told her about a purple marker I left in the mailbag.  He acted like I betrayed him but I guess when you talk to someone like AW who is so desperate for the truth, I shared the truth because she seemed desperate to know.  All the while, she is in denial, too, thinking he doesn't want another woman and she is the only one for him.  He is good at making love and I wasn't there for the hugs.  It was true intimacy and mutual exchange.  I was not trying to get him back, I just told the truth.  Well, that was around his birthday weekend or a week after.  We remained friends but it was starting to get uncomfortable because of her demands.  She wants purity and loyalty and devotion but at that time in the summer, he was not ready.  Maybe after all the cloudy triangulation, he realized he had to make a choice.  I am working on a novel and I consulted his former girlfriend because she has inside information.  I have to finish my project or this love-sex relation was all in vain.  The proof I need is that I survived and I have a story to tell.

Mike would be a good person if he wouldn't prey on women for his own personal gain.  I find myself resisting his basic requests and our friendship wasn't working.  He told me he had thought about asking me to come over 3 weeks ago but he knows it would start a major conflict with Amy again.  While all these scenarios are going on, and people are being demanding and trying to get the upper hand, people are suffering.  There was no closure and no official goodbyes.  There were a few poignant conversations we had toward the end last week.  Now he has to hide again and block me.  Go ahead and face yourself.